the girl

keejia
phang kee jia
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keejia@hotmail.com

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past

August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 April 2008 June 2008 July 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009

SCREAM

Saturday, November 28, 2009

friend: i want to die
me: i want to die too.
(pause)
but the difference between me and you, is that i am serious.

시간이 없어

Monday, November 23, 2009

i'm back :)
tadum! the reason why i had to plonk my ass down on a seat and not move for 14 hours.

yeah that's dubai for you, complete with pink borders that are 10 pixels wide. really, dubai is just sand and buildings, sand and buildings.

but the airport at dubai is really really pretty. was so fascinated by the decor(?). not so excited the second time round.

CAMBRIDGE. omgomg i have to repeat that i saw LILY COLE at Cambridge!!!!



edinburgh :) i reallyyyy love edinburgh! all the buildings are freaking old and old is good!





on the train from birmingham



leicester is so pretty in the morning :) yeah and i wasn't wearing a jacket. a t shirt. yeeeeep. i lasted like, 20 seconds outside -.-



hehe i like this picture.

that was like the highest point in my whole trip. the bag.

so i got to edinburgh after a 5 hour long train ride. yeah scenery is awesomeeeeee. not when all you have is the awesome scenery. for like 5 hours.anyway, my brother was like brandishing his identity card thing around when i went inside his room. like he knew i wanted to wear it LOL. then he took out his stethoscope so i could play with it. don't know if he did that because he remembered i was sulking when siso refused to let me play with her stethoscope. anyway my bro is super nice. and i can hear my heart beating!



was holding some alcoholic drink. well, my first "pub dinner". yeah the dinner my siso refused me :( :(

@ saigon saigon having pretty decent chinese food in scottttland! my sis skipped 3 lectures to come up to edinburgh.

more pictures on facebook but on private. ask if you wanna see them, if you wanna see them.

futile attempt at shopping. i am really, really sad about not buying much. oh well, wasn't planning to shop right! i was going to visit my siblings.

i asked my father why we had to make this trip and all he said was because my mother wanted to go. oh well. waste money siaaaaaaa. but it was pretty fun. my life wasn't boring and BLAH.

i walked EVERYWHERE this holiday and ate so so so so much. like 3x the normal amount of food i would eat in singapore! dieting gets thrown out of the window when people go on a HOLIDAY. i loveeeee breakfasts in angmo land! it's so satisfying compared to my nasi lemak, meepok, roti prata, youtiao, various paus and kaya toast kind of breakfast.

ehhhh. everything is very nice in uk and i don't feel like talking about my trip anymore. somehow.

i had breakfast at chocolate soup in edinburgh and i loved their melted chocolate. but somehow, eating all that unhealthy food for 10ish days made me a sad girl. i somehow don't like chocolates anymore. but heck, i always say i'll never eat X again after i eat loads of it. but two more days and i'm back to normal.

i did this, this and this. i saw that and all those shit. they are in my head and i will forget every thing i saw eventually. hmmm some memories are too precious for me to attempt to record and reproduce them. so they belong in my head, to be forgotten over time :)

all i know is that i am very happy with my family life right now.

my life is gonna be so darn mundane from now on. i didn't go for debate today cos i was too pooped to do anything. and i was asleep.

i think i'll be very sad when sibyl leaves for her malaysia, bangkok, hongkong, macau, melbourne/USA and maybe korea. shit man i'll be epic sad in singapore.

solitude. "fj~ isolation" yeah best partner for like, ever. i almost get what you mean. i mean, look at all the people i have on my msn list. how many of them can i actually have a proper conversation with? look at the numbers in my phone contacts. how many of them do i actually text??

i've either been a complete asshole to people or i never bothered to maintain the friendships. i don't LIKE making friends to be totally honest. i hate the whole introduction thing, the awkwardness and the uncomfortable silence. i can hold a decent conversation anytime to chase the silence away, but i am not happy making small talk that's unneccessary. then sometimes i have no desire to even interact and i ignore texts and messages.

what was the point of the above paragraph anyway?

what i really wanna say is that i regret how i spent my time my whole fucking life. if i am not watching the television("drama-ing"), i am surfing news on hankyung.com. or i'll read some junk like Glamour and Cosmo (which by the way, is AWESOME. british editions). and i go to school, tuition, do my homework and study.

then i claimed to have no time for friends or going out when i spend hours on the internet and not living. shit, what IS living anyway? i am happy like that, so to me this should be LIFE. i should go get a life but this is my life so what can i do??!

i am incapable of getting straight to the point. so yeah that wasn't the point and i still digressed.

friends, i am terribly sorry i've not prioritised you over other things. now that i discovered sibyl will probably go to the states to study, I REGRETx3 not hanging out more. not listening to her troubles more. not giving enough crap advice. not spazzing over guys together enough (but that's not something we do together. and i stopped spazzing over hot guys I DON'T KNOW WHY). i regret being a friend who is barely there.

maybe i should spend my time mending everything... but wait. i have to study for my fucking SATS and maybe try to be DECENT at math.

i make lots of excuses. but i am one big fat lazy babi. the metaphor holds true still.

i can't wait to start volunteering at the infant and childcare centre. i'm going make myself spend time with kids and i was hardly ever fond of children. (being a kid myself). i hope i become a better person :S:S:S

Thursday, November 19, 2009

my tv internet sucks asssss. well basically, i paid £9.99 for 24hours of internet access using the television in my room and sucky keyboard the hotel provided. it's raining CATS AND DOGS (by angmo standards) right now! wellll the only good thing is that i can play Kings of Leon on the tele.

Nothing else in the world comes close to family (heartshape)

Dubai's airport is beautiful! even nicer than our Changi airport. my humble opinion only :)

oh yeah. on family. after a 7 hour flight from Dubai and a 1 hour delay waiting for lost baggage (i know, WTF?!) i was sooo happy to see my sister waiting for me at the Birmingham airport! i literally ran hehe.

I didn't go to London afterall so sorry dudes i didn't check out Burberry for y'all. I TOOK A TRAIN TO CAMBRIDGE INSTEAD. AND GUESS WHO I SAW IN CAMBRIDGE???

LILY COLE WAS IN CAMBRIDGE!

Lily Cole! like, the model!!! the moment i got back to Leicester i googled her and found out that she indeed studies at cambridge! OMGOMG I SAW LILY COLE IN REAL LIFEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

i was a fan of hers like 2 years ago! cos she got discovered after grabbing a burger or something by some top photographer. i read about her first in Dolly magazine though! SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ... HERSELF. yep she walked straight out of the fashion magazine!

Leicester was really cool in every sense. even the weather. my brother took a 5 hour train ride to meet us all over the weekend so thankss bro! my sis skipped an important lecture to fetch me from the airport so thanks sis!

The food in Leicester thus far is better than the food herein Edinburgh though. We had indian food with my sister's friends and they were rally nice and i was kinda shocked when one of them kissed my cheek. hehe. brit hospitality? but they are all so likeable :)

Jie's house has a freaking GARDEN!! how coooool is that?! complete with a garden shed! but she puts her washing machine/dryer there or something-.- her bedroom window overlooks her neighbour's garden and they have a statue of Buddha in their garden. haha.

I HAVE BEEN GETTING OBESE. 3 meals a day all at restaurants. my sister brought me to her favourite place for eggs benedict and the hollandaise sauce was all right. but our spanish tapas dinner was (Y)(Y)!!

I LOVE JANE NORMAN.
like seriously, we NEED Jane Norman in singapore!
and i checked out Jack Wills in Edinburgh and Jack Wills (Y) too!

oh so i took a freaking long 5 hour train ride to Edinburgh, Scotland. Edinburgh is LIKE A DREAM. all the buildings are old and ancient. like from some period drama. I checked out Edinburgh castle and St. Giles Cathedral. St Giles Cathedral is one of the most beautiful places i've ever seen in my life. I can't really compare it to West Minister Abbey in London because i was pretty young when i last visited there. I was like 13? But the stained glass windows were breathtaking.

i absolutely cannot understand why my brother isn't happy here. he is living in such a beautiful city and his house is much nicer than the one in singapore! HIS ROOM OVERLOOKS A FREAKING MOUNTAIN! and it's twice as big as his room in singapore. complete with nice yellow lighting from a pretty ceiling light. not our plain white round light back home. hmph. i wanted to stay in his room but nope he didn't welcome his little sister and made her stay in a hotel room ALL ALONE WTF.

staying alone in a hotel room is pretty intimidating honestly. it makes me feel so grown up. like how we've really all grown up. the reality that my older siblings left home really hit me a few days ago. WOW. it's not that they are just "out' and not back home yet. but when i saw their other HOME in a foreign place... i really understood that they now live elsewhere. they have a life at a place foreign to me. their home is not my home.

-emo tears-

but i felt pretty SAD :( when my sis refered going home as going home. home as in her carpeted cold cold house somewhere near her uni.

oh well. we are all growing up.

i want to get into the university of edinburgh SO DAMN BADLY NOW. i like edinburgh even more so than oxford (not saying that i can ever get accepted though). but edinburgh is so prettyyyyy.

can't believe in stuck in the hotel BLOGGING while waiting for the rain to stop. it has stopped already i think. but my uggs are still wet from the rain and i have to wait for my brother to finish class so he can bring me somewhere cooooool.

like a pub dinner. which dearest sister refused me even when josie, amy AND lucy (her friends) expressed shock at how i've never been drinking and dancing late into the night. I WANT A PUB DINNER!

oh well at least sister is coming up here tomorrow so i shall not have tosleep alone.

i don't know where my parents are now. PUB LUNCHING MAYBE

so yeah. without a handphone, wet shoes, alone and stuck in the hotel.

i need to go get a haggis.

i want to listen to The Smiths right now.
"to die by your side, is such a heavenly way to die"

times have changed. life is different compared to the start of 2009.

my last trip to Malaysia was only 4 nights but felt like forever away from some people at home. the highlight of every day came in the form of an email. coming from someone i was hopelessly crushing on(i like to think that it was love).

yeah so no more one thousand word emails to intoxicate me.

boys. yeah. whatever.
(sibyl, agree with me?)

nah i don't have to worry because he won't ever read this :) i wonder who would bother reading this wall of text. oh well thanks yimo. for emailing me cos i was yimo-ing (emo-ing) about my sad sad inbox. and i'm sure you've had enough of me going "HE DIDN'T REPLY MY SMSES!~ (AGAIN)".

Thanks thanks thanks. i am grateful to all the tolerant angels around me. i love you all.

and so it takes a 5 hour train ride to finally decide that i'm over it.

i hate pretending to be cool about it in front of others. i am SO NOT cool. we are SO NOT okay.

i wrote some emo shit when caiyi was sleeping at the benches and i had no one to speak to.

something like what earth beneath my feet crap. -deleted portion-

this is what happens when im lonely. i won't lie and say i blog when i'm bored. i type long incoherent essays when i feel sad. and alone. in a foreign place.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

today, i ate Tori-Q, green tea steamed cake, soonkueh with loads of chilli (thanks caiyi!), hargow, fried rice andand i can't remember but i'm sure theres more!

one huge plate of soba and BIXIES with rice milk for breakfast :D

i love rice milk! the normal rice milk from supermarkets or the korean rice milk are both lovelyyyyy -heartshape-

i think i am damn aunty sia. i'm just leaving for a few days and i feel the need to stuff myself silly with food i won't get to eat when i am travelling.

SIGH.

ohoh. yesterday's japanese beef curry with rice, soft shell crab and agedashi tofu was whooooooooop!

I AM NOT GONNA WEIGH MYSELF LOL.


hehe i've been feeding my mommy a lot recently so hopefully she will get her weight up and not feel cold 24/7 when we leave -.-


hehehe strategic positioning of the peace sign to block the pimple HEHEHE

i've figured out how to edit lighting and colours to get the uljjang skin tone! (i hope)

what the fish man i'm so screwed. my luggage is not packed yet.

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

sorry guys. i took forever to transfer this pic from my handphone to the computer!
yayness.


PROJECT WORK POWER.
Heart of Gold :):) We can do it~~




walking to tuition at 7pm is amazing. i love the pretty sights :)


This is what you see when you walk out of the cosmetic surgery clinic at paragon. I love how white the whole place is!



han ye seul!

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i can't wait to leave!